oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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