I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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