I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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