I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
im holly from the hills drunk
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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