the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
