i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
