Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
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