I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
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