He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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