I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
