Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
