i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
