Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
