overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
