Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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