I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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