It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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