I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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