i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
