Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
