Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
