So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
porn star boner night. come get it.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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