BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Randomize