The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
A+ Viking dick
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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