Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
