I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
