I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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