I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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