Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
