You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
