didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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