Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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