dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
