You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
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