You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Are we still banned from the library?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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