umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
