I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
