I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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