Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
