isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize