After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Randomize
