Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
