I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
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