It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
