the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Bring me that man meat
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
