Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
And then my night got REAL pukey
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
He? As in you personified your dick?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
