i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
