You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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