I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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