Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
