Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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