from now on my penis is your penis
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
