dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize
