I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
