He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize