I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
