all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
