you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize