dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
