it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
